Things I Don’t Hear People Saying

“I’m loyal to this auto shop because their fourth tire is free (on select models).”

“It’s so great that all of these phone menus make my bank more efficient.”

“I shop at this grocery store because they save me money by having fewer employees.”

“I found my real estate agent on a bus bench.”

“It makes me happy that my favorite snack food is a sponsor of the PGA tournament.”

“I can’t wait to read my presorted mail from credit card companies and insurance agents.”

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